Four Things Don't Make Sense To me

I'm not implying that these things don't make sense. They just don't make sense to me. Maybe it's because I ain't too bright.

1. Budweiser has launched an ad campaign that gives off the appearance of a brewmaster giving us a lecture on beer in the social room of his microbrewery. He holds up a glass of Budweiser to the light and remarks on its beauty and clarity. He says something to the effect of "See how clear it is? A darker beer can hide impurities. This beer can't."

Maybe there is someone who knows more about beer than I who can set me straight. But this makes no sense to me. First of all, using his logic, Zima is the greatest alchoholic beverage ever.

Secondly, all beer, outside of Guiness, is translucent. Whatever "impurities" he's worried about could be found by holding most any beer up to the light.


Thirdly, and here is where I must plead ignorance, what impurities does he fear? And can they really be detected by holding beer up to light? Are we talking about a mouse in a beer bottle?

2. The crux of Hillary Clinton's campaign is that she is the most experienced candidate among the Democrats. Once you look past Edwards' and Obama' charisma and energy, what you see are two guys way too naive and inexperienced to run a super power.

One problem, though. While she's touting the importance of experience and downplaying eloquence and charm, Bill Clinton is often standing right next to her. Does anybody remember what Bill Clinton's strengths and weaknesses were as a candidate for President in 1992? I think they were eloquence, charm, and inexperience. It seems like a bad idea to have a living, breathing example standing right next to you, inadvertently contradicting your argument that experience matters.

3. Did anyone see Roger Clemens on 60 Minutes last night? One of the things he said was he works out three freaking times a day. So he doesn't need steroids to be in such good shape, even though he is over 40.

One problem: he's over 40. There's only one way I know of that a 40 year old body can withstand three workouts a day without breaking down. Take steroids.

Granted, I'm not a professional athelete, but I have been athletic most of my life. And now at age 36, I fall apart if I workout seven times a week, let alone 21. I think that by saying his body can withstand three workouts a day, he has basically piled more suspicion on himself that his on steroids. Oops.

4. What the hell is Ohio State doing in the national title game?